“Demonic and cruel” is an appropriate response to OOKers considering the main character of MU is a half-demon and enjoys pain.

Oh no, not the power of the mighty edit! Where can I get such power?

-A. mouse

The block about trade is important, but I could break it up into more of a question and answer dialogue, and have Allen contribute to the discussion and reflect more on the information he hears. I’ll keep it in mind for the next revision of this chapter.

But ok, I’ll follow that up with some real comments. I really enjoy the characters and the world building and all the intrigue about “his” goddess.

In this chapter however there were a couple things that I didn’t like as much as normal. First, the huge blocks of text about trading just about put me to sleep. If you could break that up or spice it up somehow I think it’d be better. Second, Allen flat out tells us everything about the mother. We don’t have a chance to really see the mother character much so that bit just feels forced to me. Like there wasn’t enough time to show us that character so we just got the important bits spoon fed. Not very interesting.

But I do promise that I love your story and will continue to read it!

They’re really interesting. If you don’t feel like using/trust the internets, try “Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches” by Marvin Harris. It discusses cargo cults as well as several other interesting cultural practices.